I realized that on the 4th day of the year, my resolution wasn’t accomplished. In a way, it’s hilarious. How quickly! On the fourth day? Already? My previous pattern of behavior would’ve blamed myself, put me down, reinforced my negative spots and weakness, maybe even a tantrum of asking the whys and feeling like a victim. Well, curiously, not this time. It happens, no big deal.
My path involves practice and a huge sense of commitment, and I hope it’s a journey that lasts for my lifetime. Throughout these years I have obsessed so much in different spectrums and shades of Yoga that I always end up the same way: exhausted. And then, I give up. Some time later, I look back at how “good” I was at it and feel that I’ve lost what I accomplished. It’s like a vicious cycle.
What matters now to me is realizing that the knowledge is within me. I have it. The reason why I’ve stopped is clear now: I kept burning out! The point is keeping the fire LIT, instead of burning it out. It’s the small steps what really matter. It’s about building perseverance and starting over little by little.
That’s the lesson I’m learning and will teach on forward. It’s not about obsessing for a period of time and then eventually giving up because of tiredness or boredom. It’s about what I become in the process. Even if it involves the tiniest step for the longest time.