When helping turns into bothering. Is it better to be left alone?

There is a lot of people who need help, and there’s also a lot of people who don’t need it but think they do.

But also there are those who mind others’ business and don’t respect nor trust those who they want to help. They believe that their truth is absolute and so is their point of view.

And there is always a frustrated soul wondering around with so much to offer but nobody really appreciate or accept it. Rejected by the majority because it’s so unconventional.

This is what I see as the tragedy of life. The bullies who believe their truth as absolute reach to help those who don’t actually need help even though they truly believe they do, so they pay for it. These bullies then downsize the true helpers by vocation and use them. And the sad part of this tragedy, which is why it’s a tragedy, is that those who actually need help remain without getting it.

I studied Greek tragedies in college. Part of their reason to exist was to express an ethical lesson from human behavior. These tragedies, even though very sad and twisted, still reflect reality to this date.

Helping is not a service nor an obligation. To help doesn’t mean that the person aimed to help must accept it or appreciate it. Helping should not be conditioned to a desired result.

It’s so different to let someone know that you support them and that you’ve got their back, and then step back perhaps keeping an eye with a distance. Throwing oneself over another and being overwhelming with unrequested help will end up being bothering and irritating.

I noticed teaching that being overly supporting, extremely in control and bossy wasn’t helping but instead affecting my students’ development and growth in their own practice. Truth is I must trust them. I started developing a gut feeling of when to step in, or allowed them to come to me and ask for help.

Everyone has capacities and the right to be given a trust vote. Many times, it’s best to take a step back leaving the other alone and trusting.


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