It might be probably easy for someone who is the way others are. But when someone is different, the oppression over being someone else is big.
I mean, when everyone you’re close to thinks, acts, behaves and makes things differently. Absolutely different! The “peer pressure” becomes a true oppression. Because when the herd does things only their way, that means that if you do them “differently” you must be “crazy”.
And so begins the terrible transformation of neglecting your true self and becoming someone who acts more like the herd and is considered “more normal”. Or even worse, he/she is finally accepted.
This is wrong!
We have been told to be “more normal” and act more according with society behavior. And that’s the worst damage we can do to ourselves. Why? Because inside we reject our true nature, we end up hating who we are, we hurt the most precious and delicate part of our lives: ourselves.
Even worse, we become liars. We cheat on everyone. We are dishonest. And in the long run we disappoint “these others” and end up hurting them. Why? Because eventually this oppression will be unbearable and one way or the other we’ll stop being that “fake self”.
We are who we are and that is that. We must accept there are way many shades and unique personalities in this world. Being someone else in order to be accepted will only hurt ourselves and everyone else.
We must understand the difference between being yourself (no matter how “weird” others conceive it to be) and being crazy. I mean, there are a lot of mental diseases and disorders out there that are serious. That is absolutely different from being your TRUE self.
I understand how hard it is. Being myself has been a very difficult journey. And it still is. I disappointed a lot of people, because even though I’m not a professional actress, I love acting and I’m good at it. So I spent half of my life pretending to be someone others accepted. But it haunted me, my true self was so confined. I felt so empty. And it has not been easy. My true self was so fragile and insecure. I’m still insecure. But my daily practices, even small, my meditations and my development of mindfulness are always a great help. And I feel whole now. I have attracted people who I can trust and be my true self without filters in my life, and they are my support. And I finally start understanding what being happy really means.
But there are always obstacles down the road. I’m becoming a mom, the day I’ll hold my little loved one in my arms is closer and closer. I know what I, my true self, wants to do and the decisions to make concerning how I raise this little bundle of love. I must also stand by my little one like a lion, and show him/her to be its true self. Being strong and defending when all these others will come around and try to shape this innocent individual into being someone else.
But most of my family and old “friends” still pressure somehow in doing things their way. Inferiorizing my ways of living and doing things. Trying to impose their points of views over mine. And it’s tough, because I didn’t build a wall of privacy and set a barrier in the appropriate time years ago when I became an adult. So now, it’s hard to do so. But it’s achievable and it requires a LOT of security and confidence.
Truth is that once you learn to listen to your heart and trust yourself, it becomes easier to be less affected by others rejections and offensive criticism.
Maybe this little part of my story can relate to something similar those of you who read and have had difficulty being your true selves.
Because my message today is about reinforcing to be myself, and empowering others to be themselves. No matter how others will take it. Just loving with all your heart who you are and treating this true self like a fragile little baby. Building confidence. Standing for yourself. Speaking or expressing out yourself.
This is the best gift you can give to your soul. And feel compassionate and be more understanding with those who cannot be themselves because they became so used and attached to their masks. They are afraid of your empowering because if they lose their mask they will feel so insecure, they don’t know what it is to become stronger and embracing who they are. So love them too.
But today, we must not let anyone dull our sparkle. Our true sparkle.